Cookies

How to exactly make my Chocolate chips cookies

I assume most people don’t know how to bake good cookies, me neither.

If you do know how to make cookies, skedaddle out of here before I embarrass myself.

In my experience, baking is the kind of art that doesn’t reward expermintation much - Smarter people make recipes, we follow them.

If we fuck up the recipe, they will fuck up our cookies.

Yet I messed up with a few recipes, and I did it enough times to end up with what I would consider a Proper™ cookie, the kind I would pay for.

Mind you: This recipe produces large, chewy cookies that are insanely sweet. If you have a problem with that you are welcome to fuck my cookies and find out.

You’ll need -

115 grams of butter (unsalted)
3/4 cup of dark brown sugar, not light brown
1/2 cup of white sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
1 + 1/4 cups of flour
1/2 teaspoon of baking soda
100 grams of chopped dark chocolate. The kind you’d want to eat, like 60%+ cocoa.

Optinal -

Crushed Hazelnuts (See notes)

The method -

Get a bowl that is large enough to hold all this cholesterol mess, pour in the two types of sugar and stir to combine.

You’ll need to brown the butter - heat it in a silver pan (to clearly tell the color) on low-medium heat and stir until brown stuff form, the liquid changed it’s color, and the smell gets toasty. Immediately pour to the bowl and stir to combine.

Break the eggs in, remove the shells that fell to the bowl, stir to combine.

Pour in vanilla, flour and baking soda and stir after each until you have cement.

Chop the chocolate (Carefully, these instructions are written in blood) with a sharp knife to chip-sized chips, and combine with the cookie goo.

Taste the batter (blah blah raw eggs who gives a shit (I will die early)).

You’ll now shape exactly 16 balls (balls, not disks) from this batter and cool them in the fridge for 30 minutes (don’t freeze).

Preheat your oven to 175-180 degrees while they chill (Or earlier if you use the shitty oven our homeowner left) and after they are done chilling space them equally on a baking tray lined with baking parchment.

The cookies will slightly expand due to ambitions of their own. If you reckon this maneuver by the cookies will result in a disaster, try baking them in batches. Make sure the oven is hot enough and the cookies are solid as they were after 30 minutes of chilling before each batch.

Bake the cookies for 13 minutes, until they look like a proper cookie but still too soft to be a cookie. As with you and me, time will harden them.

Wait for them to cool a little bit, I guess 1 30 minutes or so for a soft, fresh bite or a bit longer for a room-temperature cookie.

Assuming general tomfoolery (and not malicious intent), fucking up the recipe generally results in a cookie that is…

Too crunchy!

Too much white sugar / Too little brown sugar
Too much time in the oven
Oven temperature too high

Too chewy!

Too much brown sugar / Too little white sugar
Too little time in the oven
Oven temperature too low
Cookies are frozen too hard before baking
Too much baking soda

Too thin!

Cookies did not chill enough
Too little baking soda / chocolate

Too thick!

Too much baking soda
Too much direct heat (Baking tray shouldn’t be hot before baking)

A note about nuts -

The only aspect of these cookies I got mixed reviews about was the inclusion of hazelnuts.

I believe that nuts can give an “earthy” vibe that can complement sweets.

I also believe that no nut should touch my cookies but hazelnuts. Please don’t even try.

If you wish to include hazelnuts in your batch you’ll need to lightly roast them - roast too hard and the nuts will burn while the cookies are baking.

They can be roasted in the oven, and I also discovered that air fryer (No oil, “Roast” setting) works surprisingly well for this purpose (and this purpose only).

Something like 7 minutes on 180-ish degrees should do.

You should put about 30-50 grams in your batch. This isn’t alot, but the chocolate needs to dominate the cookie.

Happy baking.